1. You get the same VDSL modem that all BT FTTC users get, but you need something to connect that to the rest of your network. Anything that talks PPPoE will do. I have my little Linux-based server which is up 24/7 anyway connect directly to the modem, though before I set that up I connected using one of these devices
(which I was already using as a wireless AP) which is cheap but fairly fully featured unless you have specific technical needs (I don't know how well it handles IPv6, if at all, and while it happily supports multiple incoming IP addresses I couldn't convince it to properly make things look like they were coming from anything other than the main address). Anything that calls itself a "cable router" should
be fine, but double check anything you think of buying talks PPPoE and find reviews to make sure it can keep up (apparently some older cheap models apparently can't process packets fast enough (firewall rule checks, NAT/PAT translations, ...) to manage the full 40Mbit/s).
2. You don't need a specific router for this. Their equipment talks to the BT/OR provided VDSL modem for this monitoring, not any kit you have sat behind that modem.
3. The September date might be when the work is due to be complete - perhaps not all cabinets linked to that exchange have been upgraded yet but the one serving your property is one that has (or they could just have finished work in the area ahead of schedule and not updated that date in the plan). By my understanding, if your line comes up as having FTTC available when you search using http://dslchecker.bt.com/adsl/adslchecker.welcome
then you should be able to order it today.
Current ISP: Andrews & Arnold (AAISP, aa.net.uk) via FTTC at ~36Mbit down & ~10Mbit up, joined July 2011.
Previous setup: Be Pro with UploadPlus (ADSL2+, AnnexM), 12ish Mbit down, 1.6 up, happy customer for ~2.5 years.