Thanks for the great answers everyone! Thanks John for the super clear & helpful explanation!
Ok, I am beginning to get this now, lol! (It's just I've never had this kind of setup before (always just had a direct line going online, so much easier!)
I think I've solved my connectability problem for the setup just involving my unmasked IP onto to the internet.
For the issue with torrent client being "connectable" over VPN, I've got in touch with the VPN provider and am emailing them a bit. It might not be something they can solve straight away. Their first suggestion was simply "use port 1080 for bt" and I am trying to figure out what they mean exactly.
For the issue of my real IP being banned, I logged into the site and PM
one of the mods. Either they'll ban me flat out, or hopefully they'll understand that I am trying to solve the situation. But you never know with....