The trouble is it isn't just about your connection. The hosting system has a lot to do with it. People playing in parties, others forcing host to get into games with higher latency etc.
I remember playing COD MW2 with one player from Manchester trouncing everybody and then goading them in the lobby. Being the PSN who would expect different. I tried to point out that you are only as good as your connection. On small maps, unless you are camping/sniping or worse still "quicksniping" (grrrrrrrrr!) the law of averages makes it almost impossible to turn out scores of 25 and 3, let alone every game with 12 players or more targeting you.
Safe to say he gave me the usual verbal abuse. Then due to other people leaving who couldn't tolerate his attitude, he ended up on our team. The score then reversed to a regular 4 and 18 etc.
Safe to say he got the point and even ended up sending me a friend request. FIB unfortunately!
I don't pretend to understand the intricacies of matchmaking and hosting protocols, other than I have been told it is due to coding on the PSN and Xboxlive networks that causes the problems that PC gamers don't tend to face.
The only way to cure it is to end up with proper dedicated servers.
On the flip side, the advent of FTTC becoming more widespread is going to be a big levelling event as far as online console gamers are concerned. I know a couple with particularly oversized egos that I can't wait to humiliate!
Knowing how it works is completely different to understanding how it works.