e-mail hosting with greylisting and whitelist capability?

Been very happy with my mail host who also have greylisting capability as it's cut down on the majority of spam I receive.

However, ran into an issue recently when booking some cinema tickets but I wasn't getting the confirmation mail nor any password reset mails so had to ring the chain to just confirm everything had gone through.

Out of interest I reconfigured the domain settings to take out the filtering servers so mail went directly to the mail host, waited 48 hours then tried a reset again which worked.

I noted the from address and raised a ticket, the hosting company confirmed the address was on the blacklist, I asked if they would whitelist it for me and they said no and that I'd have to sign up for their 2 quid a month add on which adds whitelist control/

So anyone know of a host with greylisting and whitelist control included for about 15 quid an annum?

I just need 3 mail accounts for use with my domain.

perhaps not quite what you are after, I use mail.spamcop.net and have all my domains forward to my spamcop email account (it can also retrieve from pop3 accounts) (approx £20 pa ). It allows setting up of own black & white lists. Even if the email is marked as spam - it ends held folder so you can double check