Hmmm .Should be there.

About This Mac >> System Report >> Power (Even if it is failing to detect the battery, it should report that)

This is what mine says (with a bit of bowdlerisation). Note my bold:

Battery Information:

Model Information:
Serial Number: XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Manufacturer: SMP
Device Name: XXXXXXX
Pack Lot Code: 0
PCB Lot Code: 0
Firmware Version: 702
Hardware Revision: 3
Cell Revision: 379
Charge Information:
Charge Remaining (mAh): 6077
Fully Charged: Yes
Charging: No
Full Charge Capacity (mAh): 6111
Health Information:
Cycle Count: 65
Condition: Normal
Battery Installed: Yes
Amperage (mA): 0
Voltage (mV): 12780

Nope nothing like that
System Power Settings:

AC Power:
System Sleep Timer (Minutes): 60
Disk Sleep Timer (Minutes): 10
Display Sleep Timer (Minutes): 60
Sleep on Power Button: Yes
Wake on AC Change: No
Wake on Clamshell Open: Yes
Wake on LAN: Yes
Display Sleep Uses Dim: Yes
Hibernate Mode: 3
PrioritizeNetworkReachabilityOverSleep: 0
Battery Power:
System Sleep Timer (Minutes): 15
Disk Sleep Timer (Minutes): 10
Display Sleep Timer (Minutes): 3
Sleep on Power Button: Yes
Wake on AC Change: No
Wake on Clamshell Open: Yes
Current Power Source: Yes
Display Sleep Uses Dim: Yes
Hibernate Mode: 3
Reduce Brightness: Yes

Hardware Configuration:

Well that's very odd. Where's your nearest Genius Bar?

Nearest would be Southampton, though there is an ex Mac reseller on the island so might be just as well to get them to look at it, I think the fault is somewhere on the charging side, the battery was fully charged when the fault first occurred, and since spraying the MagSafe socket on the MacBook with switch cleaner has booted ok, just have no battery information and no way of charging once battery goes flat.

In reply to a post by janitor:

What are the chances it isn't the battery, have tried the charger on another MacBook, it works fine.

Have you tried running it with the battery removed (ie just using the charger)?

It should run OK, albeit at half speed; if it does then it sounds like a duff battery, if it doesn't then possibly a logic board problem.

But either way I agree with Ian- time for a visit to the Genius Bar.

Have tried disconnecting battery, nothing it's just dead, earlier today I booted it as usual all ok, shut down, went back later, it started to boot got half way through and just shut down, wouldn't restart, gave it half an hour, tried again got a quarter of the way through and shut down, had no luck since, so I now assume the battery is flat, another couple of things, the fan seems to run very fast as soon as you switch on, and the MacBook doesn't go to sleep if you close the lid.