"My reseller said" is hardly an official T-Mobile statement. EE sell 4G as a premium product at present - my understanding was that only those with EE 4G tariffs were supposed to have access to the 4G network. In particular, EE can hardly have intended a cheap unlimited data (with a downloading FUP) to have access to their premium network - or why would people buy the premium product?
There may be something in the terms and conditions of that SIM not to use it in a device other than that it was supplied with.
The iPhone 5 has very limited 4G support,
as has the iPad Mini - of all the UK 4G bands, these devices will only work on 1800MHz, the band that EE's current service uses. Three are likely to use most of the 1800MHz spectrum they're acquiring for 4G, but both EE and Three will likely expand into other 4G bands over time, which your devices don't support. I have no way of predicting the outcome of the bandwidth auction, though there is advantages to the lower frequencies for better in-building coverage.
The situation with the iPhone 5 and 4G is a bit like using O2's 3G service on a device that doesn't support 3G on 900MHz - there's useful 3G coverage that you can't take advantage of. My laptop's mobile broadband card supports 3G on 900MHz, which is useful as a mast near a family property in Norfolk was upgraded to 3G 900MHz last year. There's not a sniff of O2 3G on 2.1GHz in the area (the original UK 3G band), so without 3G 900MHz support I'd be limited to EDGE from the same mast.