Perhaps the
In reply to:
"...if you have a domain name registered with us, you may be charged a cancellation fee if you decide to join a different supplier."
Needs addressing from a customers point of view. I would want to be told if I am or are not being charged. Being told I MAY be charged is too vague.
Also to refer to a possible charge as a cancellation charge, without stipulating a figure, is also non customer friendly. Be open and honest and the customer may return
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"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln
16th president of US (1809 - 1865)